Wednesday
But on Wednesday the 37th week I noticed some weird gush of liquid coming out in the shower and called the nurse. She didn’t think my water broke but told me to monitor and go to the hospital if I noticed more liquid. Me and Anthony went to our dear friends Pauline & Brandon’s tax office to do our taxes and have dinner with them, and I didn’t notice anything different that night.
Thursday
The next day I did notice it was very moist down there and decided to call the nurse again. The nurse adviced us to go into Labour and Delivery so they could just check me. I called Anthony and told him and he said he was coming home from work right away. I even suggested his mom could take me, but he wouldn’t have it. So we brought our hospital bag “just in case” and told his mom and contractor we would be right back. When we came into triage (where they check you and decide if you’re ready to go into labor), they did some tests and ultrasound to determine if my water broke. The whole time we were there there was another patient next to our bed yelling and crying because of her contractions, which made Anthony look at me really pale and worried. Poor thing. I think he was more nervous than I was. The tests came back after a few hours and it showed my water was still intact and we were getting ready to go home... All of a sudden, baby’s heart beat dropped! It went from 140ish to maybe 70ish and the nurses rushed in and made me lie on my side and gave me an oxygen mask. It happened twice in these few hours. Scary. So the dr decided we should stay the night at the High Risk ward just to monitor and make sure it was just a coincidence and not something wrong with baby. They hooked me up to an IV and rolled me over to High Risk. Poor Anthony stayed with me that night on a couch (and little did we know he was going to stay on the couch with me another 4 nights...). Baby had 2 more scary heart decelerations that night (nurses rushing in and giving me oxygen and yelling at me to roll over on my side or get on all four)...
Friday
In the morning the dr decided not to send us home, she recommended me to get induced. Baby was almost 38 weeks and would be considered full term if delivered now. She did warn me induction could take a couple of days because my cervix was only 1 cm dilated and my water was still intact. If something would happen to baby during the induction, they might had to do emergency c-section. Anthony and I looked at each other. We couldn’t believe we just came in to get checked and we were going to leave with our baby! So they rolled me over to Labor and delivery and did a test-round with the IV induction medicin Pitocin. They suspected baby’s heart deceleration might be because of my contractions, so they wanted to test first. If that was the case I had to have a c-section. But baby passed the test so around 11am they gave me my first dose of Misoprostol, an oral tablet to induce contractions and soften the cervix. I was supposed to get 6 doses every 4 hours and then get re-evaluated after 24 hours. It was a long day of just waiting. I was having more and more contractions which I could see on the monitor, but they weren’t very painful yet.
Saturday
After the 6 doses of misoprostol they checked my cervix again which only dilated to 2 cm. The dr decided to give me Pitocin (oxytocin) in my iv, which would be more efficient in dilating the cervix and give me stronger contractions. Pitocin is known for giving unnatural painful contractions, which I can vouch for... They started me on it around 7pm and said that it could still take a day or two for it to work. Around midnight I was having really strong and painful contractions. Anthony coached me with the breathing, but nothing really helped for the pain. When they checked me and told me I was still only 3cm dilated I had to make the decision to get the epidural. I was thinking I just could not stand this pain for another day or two... The epidural was very fast and easy. It pinched a little bit when they injected the numbing medicin, but then I didn’t feel anything. Thank goodness for modern medicine! Apparently I had a “perfect” epidural, because I could still move my legs even though I didn’t feel any pain. After they put in the epidural and the catheter, I went back to sleep and woke up around 3am when the nurse checked my cervix again. The nurse looked at me funny and asked “are you ready to push, because you’re 9.5cm dilated!”. Anthony and I were chocked. We were expecting another day or two of waiting, and all of a sudden it was time to push!
Sunday
Around 4am the pushing started! It was the most exhausting thing I’ve ever done. You take a deep breath when a contraction comes and then hold your breath and push as hard as you can for 10 seconds, and then repeat. I was so tired, in between pushes I almost fell asleep. It literally feels like taking the biggest poop of your life. Anthony was such a great help counting and reminding me to breath, he got all tired and dizzy not from what he saw but from yelling so much. The nurse was great and had me try different positions and the birthing bar was what worked best for me. You have your feet up and “pull yourself up” with a rope while pushing. Since I couldn’t “feel” my progress, they put a mirror down there, so I could see baby’s head being pushed out. Such a weird feeling seeing the top of her head poking out... Not the prettiest sight, but very helpful to see the results of pushing. Around 5am the dr showed up and I gave the final pushes. The baby was half way out when the dr said “you can go ahead and grab her if you want”. Anthony stared at him in disbelief and asked “me?!” But the dr was addressing me, so I literally pushed and pulled baby out of me. Such a weird feeling but I was so happy I was done. Baby had to be rescucitated because she was a little purple and didn’t breath first which was a scare. But the NICU team was there and within minutes we heard her first cry. I was honestly dozing off when the dr was taking care of me and giving me 2 stitches, so I didn’t understand what was going on, but Anthony saw everything and got to cut the umbilical cord (even though he said he wouldn’t do it). It was such a weird thing to see the little human being you’ve baked for 9 months and pushed out of you, being put on your chest. Pretty unbelievable.
The last 4 weeks
The first weeks were so hard. No one tells you how hard it is. Ella had jaundice, she was struggling to eat because she was so sleepy, she didn't want to breastfeed, I was having trouble pumping, and on top of that I had major baby blues. Baby blues is just your hormones getting back to normal and causing depression, anxiety, insomnia... So not only are you healing physically with nonstop bleeding and painful stitches, but you're also a wreck emotionally.
On top of that we were trying to finish the patio cover in the backyard so there were unbelievable loud construction noises, construction people everywhere in and outside the house, we had to move to our guestroom so it wouldn't be too loud for baby... It was a mess. We're happy it's done, but I honestly thought I was going to lose my sanity those first weeks. I cried about everything and didn't want to meet anyone or do anything except worry about my baby.
Anthony was off the two first weeks and was a major support, but this was also all new to him, so sometimes he stressed me out not understanding what I went through. Anthony's mom was a big help the first weeks coming over to cook and watch Ella for us. My mom came from Sweden a week after Ella was born and has helped us so much with everything from cooking, cleaning, and taking care of Ella. She stays on Sweden-time so she can get Ella at 3am and let us sleep. I wouldn't made it without her honestly.
Thank you all for your well wishes and kind words. Also, for being understanding when I was missing in action for so long. Now that we've made it through the first month we're hoping things can only get better and easier. Baby Ella is the best thing that has ever happened to us and Anthony and I are so in love with her. It's such an amazing thing to look at your child and see both you and your partner and just love her more for every day.
The last 4 weeks
The first weeks were so hard. No one tells you how hard it is. Ella had jaundice, she was struggling to eat because she was so sleepy, she didn't want to breastfeed, I was having trouble pumping, and on top of that I had major baby blues. Baby blues is just your hormones getting back to normal and causing depression, anxiety, insomnia... So not only are you healing physically with nonstop bleeding and painful stitches, but you're also a wreck emotionally.
On top of that we were trying to finish the patio cover in the backyard so there were unbelievable loud construction noises, construction people everywhere in and outside the house, we had to move to our guestroom so it wouldn't be too loud for baby... It was a mess. We're happy it's done, but I honestly thought I was going to lose my sanity those first weeks. I cried about everything and didn't want to meet anyone or do anything except worry about my baby.
Anthony was off the two first weeks and was a major support, but this was also all new to him, so sometimes he stressed me out not understanding what I went through. Anthony's mom was a big help the first weeks coming over to cook and watch Ella for us. My mom came from Sweden a week after Ella was born and has helped us so much with everything from cooking, cleaning, and taking care of Ella. She stays on Sweden-time so she can get Ella at 3am and let us sleep. I wouldn't made it without her honestly.
Thank you all for your well wishes and kind words. Also, for being understanding when I was missing in action for so long. Now that we've made it through the first month we're hoping things can only get better and easier. Baby Ella is the best thing that has ever happened to us and Anthony and I are so in love with her. It's such an amazing thing to look at your child and see both you and your partner and just love her more for every day.
