Room 501 - the last day

When I stepped into the room 501 today I knew it was gonna be a good day. Grandpa sat up and smiled when he saw me. He had all by himself allready drunk a bottle of Ensure. The food was in front of him and with a little help from me he actually ate a little bit more. Then he sat and chitchatted with his sister for a while, talked on the phone with my mum and guess what? He even had the strength to correct my terrible vietnamese. He smiled a big smile when my aunt took a picture of us. So did I.

The janitor who has been so cute to me and fetching me teas and stuff all the time, came in today and smiled his big smile. He asked if I was leaving tomorrow and I said yes. He wondered if he could get me some tea and my grandpa's sister accepted his kind offer and told him that I really liked him. (What?) He came back with the tea and took my hand to shake it. "You take care now, allright!" he said, smiled and left us. My grandpa's sister was smiling funny. Just minutes after that I ran into him in the hallway again. "So will you ever come back?" he asked me smiling. I told him that I didnt know, maybe this summer. He just smiled and said "you are a very pretty girl!". When I was back in the room and grandpa's sister just left, he suddenly stormed into the room. He took my hand to shook it again with these words: "I just wanted to wish you a safe trip back home, good luck with everything, school, your career, be a good girl, listen to your parents, enjoy life, take care of yourself, maybe one day you can come back to see me again!". I was quite shocked and just smiled and thanked him. He turned away to leave and then turned his head to look at me again. "You are a very lovely young lady." was his last words. Wow...

When the bright sun had set grandpa eventually woke up from his afternoon nap. And he actually wanted to have dinner. I helped him and was having a hard time not focusing on that this was the last time I helped him with his dinner. Or that it was the last time I held his hand and patted his shoulder. When dinner was done I sat down next to him. He thanked me for spending time with him. I tried to cheer him up. Told him to eat well and get better, so me and my sister could visit him this summer. He seemed very enthusiastic about that idea and promised he'll try to get better. I told him how lucky he should be to have so many children and grandchildren who loved him so much. He aggreed and smiled. I gave him a big hug and at first he seemed surprised and then he hugged me back. Our first and last hug. I didn't cry. My last words to him was "Au revoir".

Grandpa has always been unselfish, he shares the little he has with everyone and doesn't want to bother anyone. He would never say that he is in pain or talk about his sad feelings to make the people who loves him worry. I have a feeling today was partly a charade to make me happy, on my last day with him. Now, whatever this cheerful day was because he had a good day or simply because he wants me to remember my last day as a good day, I don't know. I just know that this old, weak man still loves life so much and this disease is taking so many years of love, life and adventures from him. It's not fair.

I'm not sad. Not yet. I'm just so damn proud of being his granddaughter. I hope I will be like him one day. Strong, cheerful, passionated, kind, unselfish and life loving. My last day with grandpa was a good day. But who knows, maybe I'll see him again. And that day will definitely be a good day.

My wonderful grandpa